Noelle m.

A stationary existence full of life.

Between myself and the jar, we are separated by glass.

When I am alone in the silence of the night, I stare at the jar.

I wonder how it would feel to be alive.

What would it feel like to feel?

Tempted, I stepped through the glass.

My heart felt heavy.

I felt pain.

I felt trapped.

I felt afraid.

I found myself ruminating, recalling memories I hoped to forget.

I named it, ‘the Jar of Emotions.’

Transparent, yet contained, and self-sustained.

A thriving ecosystem of emotions in fragile form.

There were times I felt joyful.

I felt surrounded by love.

I embraced my memories through the lens of hope.

And other times, I felt lonely.

Never satisfied within myself, I felt insecure in my skin.

I recalled the moments I felt intense pain and suffering.

The jar fed whatever I felt and thought in a vicious cycle.

Growth was the outcome nonetheless.

But because I could not see, the truth that was, I stepped away.

It was a choice to live life in blank pages, devoid of dreaming.

And I chose, at last, emotional

distance.