Noelle m.

What drives you?

For the last four years, I was driven by extrinsic motivation to complete my nursing and midwifery degree. In other words, I pursued the degree at the expense of what gives me satisfaction and meaning in life, or so I thought.

I felt the need to be validated by my family and friends, to be seen by others as someone who is doing something with their life and to feel assured within myself that I was making a difference in the world.

From the first year to the last, my waking hours were filled with grief over the loss of myself and my own identity. Encountering patients and their needs everyday was a challenge for me because I mainly thought about myself and my own problems over anyone else’s.

Overtime, however, I learned how to practice compassion, mercy and gentleness within my relationships; due to my circumstances, I adapted to become a person suitable for the caregiving role of a nurse and a midwife.

The time I spent with patients has taught me how to value human life, including mine. And despite the cost of my time, effort and resources, the degree has taught me valuable lessons which have made an irreversible difference in the way that I approach life and death, and I do not regret undertaking it.

Anyone who works in healthcare can tell you this, and that is there is a shocking truth behind the profession. Within its walls, the ‘universe of man’ is constantly evolving into new and unrecognizable shapes and forms.

From womb to tomb, the full picture of human existence reveals itself in short glimpses when new life is born and when death is near. In an instant, a single breath either marks a souls arrival or their farewell, and the importance of a second becomes apparent to me.

Encountering death has taught me how to live.

The two seemingly polar concepts in fact belong from the same seed, but from a different branch. Death has taught me to live purposefully and to embrace the wonder and beauty of the life before me.

Death has reminded me to take the hidden opportunities to serve others in my profession, even if it is something simple like holding a patient’s hand in their suffering with childbirth or in their final hours.

These souls, at the mercy of those who care for them, have gentle prayers. They pray for human touch – the wordless affirmation that they are in safe hands. In their vulnerability, they entrust their lives blindly, placing the burden of responsibility to those who may or may not be worthy.

Throughout this journey, I have cried and felt utterly hopeless within myself. Who knew catching babies was this stressful?

But through the tough times, I’ve embraced the memories I shared with the people I cared for. These memories reveal how my life has changed with theirs. And I’ve learned there is one universal language known to man – the language of love.

My degree has allowed me to see the magic of human life in its entirety.

Thank you to my family and friends for supporting me throughout this journey! Your selflessness and love has helped me through the difficulties I faced.