Noelle m.

Without realizing, the beauty that I cherished as a child has influenced the beauty I see in the everyday.

This ‘beauty’ was not physical but abstract and relational.

The story of a boy and his grandfather in ‘Green Grow the Mountains’ by Ichisaburo Sawai has remained with me since childhood. It filled, at the time, my desire for deep connection and meaning. Despite their large difference in age and experience, they saw the wonders of the world in its simplicity; hand-in-hand, they taught each other the hidden joys of life. The gentle watercolors and muted color-palette emphasized this message for me.

In fact, I loved the book so much that even an eight-year-old ‘goody-two-shoes’ like me stole the book from the school library. It has been a secret till now…

As I grew older, new colors, landscapes and relationships entered my life, and the new became the normal.

I became used to change because my siblings and I often had to move schools – it was more unusual to stay in the same school, friendship circle and house for longer than three years. But since 2011, this cycle ended, and my family and I have spent a decade in our corner of the world.

I’ve been here so long that I’ve been blessed to witness the children, aged four to five, in my community grow up to be wonderful people and lifelong friends.

Nonetheless, change is occurring internally, and it’s never-ending… sometimes for the good, sometimes for the bad.

The search for meaning is ongoing, but my younger self knows that if I shift my focus to love and my inner needs, peace is there.

The strong colors, orange, red, yellow and pink, appear vibrant and lovely, but they’re also distracting – such is the struggle of growing up, experiencing all kinds of emotions and living in a world where beauty is so distorted.

The painting on the left portrays my belief in being guided by my Creator in my everyday life and in my dreams. The one on the right depicts this strange balance and categorization of ideas, thoughts and feelings which occur concurrently to the flow and motions of the outside world.

I am guilty of wanting more: more experiences, more people and more change to my life.

However, in stillness and in vulnerability, there is calm and beauty.

The Story of Pegasus Mountain

The Pegasus is a mythical creature symbolizing freedom, and anyone who sees it will receive creative inspiration. Its victories were accomplished through overcoming many trials, and I personally seek inspiration from such stories. 

When we embody the Pegasus, we lose our heavy luggage (toxic belief systems we carry), and within this process we encounter our paradoxical personality, which refines itself overtime if we work on it. And we must never forget who we are; we are made to fly (to live a purposeful life).

The Pegasus is like the spruce tree, symbolic of resilience and strength. It’s not hopeless romantic or innocent in the same way lilies, tea leaves and ivy are symbolised. In my life, I’ve noticed that strength is hidden, like how the roots of a tree are not seen. 

There is a great reward waiting for us when we see our value and grow as people. Like the earth that gradually divides into separate continents, we can learn to adapt to this change, which we cannot control, by embracing our unique differences. So off we fly, on our wings, to become the self we wish to be when we are old, and by recognising our authenticity, we become grateful for the experiences we had. 

{poem}

Singing on mountain-top in solitude,

Sight him — a four-legged creature with wings. 

His head bobbed low, hiding from being seen.

Dead-end? Oh, how could I not imagine?

Listen, listen, he has tough scales beneath

That fluffy mane endure. A steed not for

The ground, nor the seabed. 

Hooves hovering o’er hills like helium.

Be it a hotel, a couch to stay or

Perhaps even a 1967 chevrolet, 

To a youngling, he, the elderly man will say,

“Mister, where is your luggage? Gold of old.

You’re a jovial, jolly brooding breed. 

Spruce tree, no lillies, tea leaves and ivy.”

Rain will wash out so

Off you go, fly about to earth’s zero-

Latitude. Divided since days young, he

Sought an oasis to cleanse himself with

Gratitude. 🎞️✍️ by Noelle